Wow...this is really gonna HAPPEN

I'm gonna guess that it's a little different if you're pregnant...you can see the changes, you have a pretty good timeline...basically, there a certain reality to the situation. But with an adoption, it is, if you'll pardon this terminology, a total crapshoot. You don't know what's going to happen, when it's going to happen or even IF it's going to happen.

Sure...we are getting Anyssa in a month, but right now, she is just a photograph. We don't know what she knows about adoption, what her concept of a family is, why has she been waiting 5 years...you simply don't know. Will she know how to use a western-style toilet? Will she eat any of the food we cook? How will we communicate? Will she like us? Will she be able to sleep by herself? It can be quite maddening. The only thing I know is that life will be changing for a lot of people...we pray for the better.

We sent Anyssa a care package last week. They told us that she will only be able to bring the clothes on her back when we get her. That being the case, we sent her a little Elmo backpack with a couple of goodies inside. A coloring book with crayons, some M&M's and Jolly Rancher gummies, a photo album with pictures of Laura and me as well as the cats and the house, and a disposable camera. I read on the net that sometimes the staff will use the camera to take pictures of her with her friends/playmates as well as care givers, then send the camera home with her. If that works, that might be the only physical record of that part of her life she'll ever have. We also put in a Beanie Baby...Valentino. He has a little heart on his chest. He has been sitting with rest of our beanie bears for years. I selected him, dusted him off and wished him safe travels. I told him to take good care of Anyssa and we'd see him soon. If NOT, I told him to take care of whoever he might end up with. If all goes well, she will be bringing the pack with her when we get her in Chengdu.